… you don’t. 

“You don’t have to be tough every minute of every day. Its okay to let down your guard.” - Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy

Theres always something to write…

Maybe its the pressure of my exams just around the corner, maybe thats why I’m all stressed and super tensed. Theres the pressure of losing weight as well but thats nothing new. Oh, and the thought of packing up my whole room for storage over the summer. I should solely concentrate on my exams first and not think ahead but how can I just ignore the other things when those things are in line right after my exams end? I’ve always been that kind of person - the one who thinks ahead because I like to be prepared when it hits me, y’know?

But oh well. Alhamdulillah of course, everything is manageable! And الله‎ ada, so no worries! Pray. Workout. Love. And repeat.

Until then, Tumblr

xoxo

ps. My salted caramel brownies are arriving tomorrow, so so excited!! It’s going to be the YOLO meal of the week! Thats something to look forward to :) <3

I wish some people would just shut up and stop complaining about their weight when they’re actually fine. I swear if the next skinny person complains about how fat she looks, I might just explode. Big.

Do you know how hard it is to wake up everyday, to look in the mirror and not like what you see - especially when you know you’ve made the extra effort to work for it? 

I’ve been battling with my weight since January. Currently, I’m quite content because AT LEAST I’m not as bad as when I first started working out again. I’ve got the most stubborn fats around below my waist area; my ‘muffintop’ is crazy. I think its stubborn mainly because of my disproportionate body; super short upper body but waaay long legs. But yeah… I take it to heart when skinny people complain about their weight, because really, SOME of us actually have to work for it. 

Whats sad is that my OCD contributes to my mood swings, hence, getting irritated but the nonsense skinny people whine about. You know how when people complain about the littlest things and claim that they have OCD? Sure you do, but my disorder… its not just the smallest ‘behavior’ & ‘actions’, its the way I think, they way I act, the way I feel… Its hard to explain to someone who has never gone through it, but what I have is way more complicated. For example, because of it, I’m claustrophobic, but the obvious ONE thing would be my anxiety disorder (which is related to OCD) about time i.e. waiting gives me anxiety. Its not that I’m impatient, its just that I really really really dooo get anxious if I were to get to some place early, for example. Thats why you’ll almost never see me come to an appointment on time. But of course alhamdulillah, whatever I go through, I try to stay patient? Or better yet, distract myself so I won’t have to over-think.

I think this is one of the deepest things I’ve ever written to date. And right now, I’m just glad not everyone knows that I have a tumblr. I hope…

All in all, I’m beyond grateful to Allah for letting me have such an amazing support system who understands my personal battle(s) - my family, my sayang, and the small group of amazing friends who I can always talk to about what I have to go through. I’m so fortunate. <3

Its almost 1AM and I’m seriously not bothered to proof read this post.

I believe that a ‘Muhammad’ exists. I believe that Allah has given a massive amount of hidayah and imaan to the guys/men, of which only He knows of, that can be the imam, the bilal, the ‘Muhammad to Khadijah’ to those He wishes :)

I believe because Allah is AL-MUTAKABBIR, the Majestic :) So no, its not impossible nor is it unrealistic to think that that kind of guy/man exists.

Nothing is ‘impossible’ if you believe and have faith in Him and refer to the Quran and the past stories of the Prophets of Allah.

No one is perfect, but…

إِنَّمَآ أَمۡرُهُ ۥۤ إِذَآ أَرَادَ شَيۡـًٔا أَن يَقُولَ لَهُ ۥ كُن فَيَكُونُ

Verily, His command, when He intends a thing, is only that He says to it, “Be!”– and it is!) (Surah Yasin:82)

♥